something about me…

Usually I post about things I love, things I am interested in, or topics I am passionate about.  Not tonight.  I am still waiting on my “guest blogger”, but since she is STILL too busy, I am due to blog about SOMETHING!!! !!!!   we have a BIG decision to make in the next day or so at our home, and in the meantime, I need some mental diversion.   No better way to do that, then to blog about the complete OPPOSITE of what I would normally be posting about.

I am going to dedicate this post to …… PICKLES.    (and my dislike fear of them)  yep.  Call it fear, call it a phobia, call it what you want, but I want NO part of them.

Gross  !!!!!!!!!!!

Gross !!!!!!!!!!!

it is EVERYTHING that I can muster up to even post this image.   Trust me, I am trying to edit this withOUT actually looking at it.  No kidding.

Now, a few examples:

I basically refuse to buy them in the store.  If my fridge is holding them, it is because my husband or daughter bought them.   I walk past them in the store and turn my head.

My mother-in-law USED to make them, and send them home with my family!!!!   Eekkkkk   I finally admitted to her, that I have gone to extreme measures, telling the kids (when they were little) that after a day or so, they are no good.  Oops, had to throw them away .  {darn} ( of course, holding a towel OVER them until they hit the garbage)   I told her, she is welcome to make all the pickles she wants, and share them with my kids and husband, but they absolutely have to consume them at HER house.  Not mine.   When the rare occasion happens that they ARE eaten in my house, the kids have to wash their hands, sanitize the kitchen and BRUSH their teeth before I will enter the room or talk to them!!!  Seriously!!!

If my family happens to have fast food etc etc that they are eating for supper, I eat in the other room .

If they are in my car, all windows go DOWN (even wintertime) and I hold my head out the window.

I have this same opinion on ketsup, mustard and mayo, but I am the most OBSESSED with those little green “things”   yuck.

I have always felt this way, but to completely put me over the top, I have to go back 25 years ago to when I was a student at Beauty School.

Everyone knew about this phobia of mine.  So, only in THEIR good humor, one friend evil person  (haha) had a fast food cup, lidded and with a straw in it.  Passing it around to everyone to taste this wonderful new “lemonade”.   I sat and drank my Coca-Cola, doing no harm to anyone!!!.  But it got the best of me, how everyone was just going CRAZY at how good this “lemonade” was.  Of course, I finally gave in and tasted for myself.  ……….yep, PICKLE JUICE  !!!!!!!!!!!!   I ran straight to the bathroom and that and MORE came up  !!!!!   From that day on, my dislike changed to a phobia / fear.   I remember coming home that night and telling my dad.  He LAUGHED!!!!   can you imagine???  LOL   he knew me VERY well and did think it was entertaining!!!   Not to mention, each night at supper, he would always ask me to pass the ketsup/mustard/ pickles to someone at the table.  I always REFUSED to even TOUCH them!!!!   he laughed at me each time!!!

There, I admitted it.  I am still scarred.  🙂

Am I the only weirdo out there with a real FEAR of a certain food???  please tell me, I am not alone.  😮

***and if you DO have something to comment about, use that food as your  chosen “word”   ….the contest continues and is drawing near!!!

28 Responses to “something about me…”

  1. Jesse Says:

    Haha, remember my ketchup and mayo mix:)

  2. bejes Says:

    Nope. you are the only wierdo. I love condiments of all kinds. I sometimes plan my meal around which condiment I am craving.

  3. bejes Says:

    this is machita using jessi computer!!!!! OK REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE DATING GLENN AND TOLD HIM YOUR MOM DOESNT BUY KETCHUP?????? THAT THERE IS NEVER ANY THERE??? AWESOME. AND REMEMBER WHEN DADDY WOULD SNEAK ANYTHING THAT HE KNEW WE DETESTED TO OUR MOUTHS????

    • simplyaltered Says:

      yep, I remember that. He always thought it was SO strange that my mom never needed or used ketsup!! and back then, he was just a new boyfriend, and afraid to open the fridge and look for himself!! 🙂

  4. Mishelle Says:

    I dont’ have any aversions to condiments but one of my kids has severe food aversions. He has such a limited diet and gets that same kind of sick look that you do. I honestly don’t think he has ever had a bite of beef or pork cross his lips nor any condiments. He will eat chicken nuggets, rasberries, chocolate milk (homemade only) a few types of cereal and popcorn. Oh…and chocolate..he eats lots of that! Luckily he takes vitamins and drinks lots of caranation instant breakfast so he is relatively healthy.

    • simplyaltered Says:

      Oh my!!! I have a picky eater, but he is NOTHING like this!!!! you have your work cut out for you!!! 🙂

  5. BLT Says:

    I fear food that has LEGS. Particularly 6 or 8 LEGS. Those things called Rocky Mtn oysters, regardless of species, and all those listed to abstain from in the Levitical diet which would also include my aversion to LARD.

  6. Jules Says:

    I’m with Jess, you are the only weirdo LOL! I love condiments and love pickles, my boys do too! Just picked some from the garden to make last night! Didn’t a particular neice of yours used to drink pickle juice?? Obviously not around her aunt huh??!?!?! FYI: a tip for the baby wipes, a miter saw works wonderful for the cutting the paper towels in half, my husband tried it for me yesterday because I was tired of hand cutting them with scissors, it is a super clean cut no fuzzies!

    • simplyaltered Says:

      if you are actually MAKING pickles, I would not be able to even be in your driveway!!!
      Thanks for the miter saw idea. Glenn has one of those, and I will be doing it next time!!! not only does the old way make a mess, but I use a knife and it REALLY dulls them fast!! Thanks!!!!!

  7. carole martin browne Says:

    You are not alone on the crazy food phobia.I’m terrified of any food on a stick.So for that reason there is never food in my house on a stick,I have goose bumps just writing this..And the State Fair I will Not step near that place with all the food on a stick..So Kelli you are not alone…LOL

    • simplyaltered Says:

      now THAT is funny!!! you are making me feel better now. 🙂 yeah, the state fair is your REAL pressure!!! and speaking of that, can you imagine ME, at the fair and people are walking around with corn dogs, and the condiments smeared all over the OUTSIDE of them!! oh man, that is REALLY nasty!!!!

  8. Diane Says:

    Now I know where Madison gets her banana phobia/dislike!!!

    • simplyaltered Says:

      Funny you say that as I was almost going to mention it!!! she can smell a banana a mile away!!! Sorry to say, I did this phobia TO her as I was determined every toddler likes bananas, so I made her eat them, and only took a few times for me to realize, she puked them up every time!!!!

  9. Linsey(TC) Says:

    I can’t say I like pickles either….nasty! I don’t really have a fear of them, but they are gross. I do like my ketchup though…and ranch dressing! Yummm… Kaleb definitely wouldn’t survive without ketchup…his whole family uses it constantly. It’s out of control. 🙂

  10. Lana Says:

    I finally have to disagree with you Kelli! If you came over to my house…my entire top shelf of my fridge is PICKLES….every possible kind, I love all pickles…hot, sweet, dill, butter, lime….all of them. I just think you need to close your eyes…and savor…a PICKLE!

    • simplyaltered Says:

      ewwww…..and I am not kidding, if there is one jar of pickles that make their way into MY fridge, it is the only thing I see when I open it.!!!! it is like it wants to jump out at me!!!! :O

  11. BLT Says:

    Let’s pick a day and we can all show up at Kelli’s house for a PICKLE PARTY!!

    Like Lana, I LUV every kind of pickle too! Especially baby sweets and even all the relishes!!!!

  12. olold plow woman Says:

    Okay here is a word I hate hate hate not a food but one my older sister used to make me crazy when I was a kid and still can not stand it. SUCCULENT which means juicy, having thick fleshy leaves and everytime we had Pinneapple she would look over and say isn’t this the most Succulent pinneapple you have ever eaten – gross gross gross. so that is my word for the aftenoon icky.

    • simplyaltered Says:

      that word succulent reminds me of a plant / cactus and I would certainly NOT want to eat that!!!
      but I do LOVE pineapple!!! 🙂

  13. Brandi Benedict Says:

    My daughter likes pickle juice but refuses to eat pickles. Thought it was pretty funny. As for me I cant eat bananas. If its in something its great but I cant peel one and eat it. Just mushy and yuck! Makes me want to run to the bathroom thinking about it!

    • simplyaltered Says:

      you are in the banana haters club with my daughter then!!! you will have to go back and read Dianes post!!! she was the youth leader on the church work trip and they actually had bananas each morning!!! all 40 some poeple, all EXCEPT my daughter!!! 🙂

  14. LaVonne Says:

    And Kelli, you also have a phobia for bananas and peaches too, don’t you?? Come to think of Kel, your list of food phobias is longer than the food you WILL eat🙂 I HATE pickles too—any form, shape,flavor. I will eat sweet pickle relish if it is in beef salad, when my mom makes it. But only hers. I don’t like them in anything else. Ask Mike, I can’t stand for a pickle to be on my plate—-I have someone else take it off, and then I use a napkin to wipe up the juice!!! It is the smell for me. I don’t like anything dill either. But we have plenty of pickles in our house, and mustard, which I don’t like either. And Kel, unlike you, I am being considerate of my loving husband, and putting them in the fridge for him🙂 haha

    • simplyaltered Says:

      very true. I probably DISlike more than I do like. And each dislike usually comes with a story behind it!!!
      I am VERY specific to waitresses, I do not want pickles on what I am eating, so I also do nto want pickles on the SIDE either!!! what is up with that anyway?? I have flipped out before when the pickles and juice are all over my plate. I usually lose my appetite right then and there.
      I am SUCH a good wife in so many ways, so I feel justified in this pickle dilemma. 🙂 LOL

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