Archive for January 15th, 2010

it is unanimous…..

January 15, 2010

We all “dislike” Protector by Taser !!   whew.

it is really a matter of TRUST...It really is a matter of “TRUST”

Trusting in a higher power of your choosing…

Trusting in your own children…

Trusting your gut instinct…

I was pleasantly surprised of the comments I received on this new item.   I feel better that I am certainly not alone.  I will offer you some of my thoughts on the comments as it seemed repetitive to reply to each one like I usually do.

Here goes.

I have trusted my children alot through the years.  Sometimes the trust HAS been compromised, but in my “live and learn” philosophy, it has been gained back.  Parenting is a hard enough thing to do, not to mention humbling…..and just like my children, I have learned lessons on parenting the hard way as well.

I do agree that until the cell phone rules have been violated, whatever you do, do NOT pry, sneak and dig into their business.  Diaries, purses etc etc are off limits unless you have VERY good reason to be suspicious.  (and I emphasise VERY good reason…not just paranoia on a mothers part)  I have heard of parents that go “snooping” around in their attempt to avoid such issues.  It will not avoid them, guaranteed, it will MAKE issues.   Just like kids can break your trust, you can certainly break theirs just as easily.

I have learned (again, the hard way) that alot of cell phone talk, is simply mindless chatter that you will either not NEED to know, not UNDERSTAND, or simply have no business looking at.

Our rule now, is that as long as my husband and I pay the cell phone bill, we DO have the right to look at it,  and take it away.  I have done both, but I desire to do neither anytime soon.

On the same hand.  When they turn 18, they will either get the cell phone bill graciously handed to them….or give the cell phone up completely.  hmmmm……I am pretty sure they will pay their OWN bill, which forces them to have a job, a budget and a responsibility to pay bills….it will all be good.

I explained all of this to them the other day.  My daughter could probably give hers up and think nothing of it.  My son??  not so much.  He is ATTACHED to his!!!  isn’t that interesting???  I think so .    I reminded them that when I was growing up, and I left our yard, from that point on….my mother was not in contact with me.  Not at all.  She had to have FAITH and TRUST that I knew when to be back home, and hoped I was smart enough to do so.

Guess what???  I did.  My four sisters also did.  (ok, maybe not ONE of them, but she was well known to push her limits on everything!!) Yep, good old fashioned way of parenting.  I want to go back to that again.  {sigh}   My own mother survived it, and I am sure I could too.

I have JOKED to my husband, who gets a little more easily worked up,  “As long as the police are not following them in the driveway, then it is all good”   HAHA  !!!!!   although it HAS chilled him out a little, and kept things in perspective on his part.

Our computer is also in the main most used room of the house.  It is RIGHT there for me to look at, and listen to (music).   Although I rarely look that way. I feel no need to.   I am also Facebook friends with my kids.  I see nothing on their that is unacceptable either.  I am THANKFUL !!!!

I also know that when you smother your kid, you can be pushing them away.  Now, when things go completely wrong??   thank GOODNESS that I have not experienced that, but I have a feeling this total control, like suggested with Protector by Taser, would only make things worse.  Some issues just have to be resolved in their own time.

I do NOT have all the answers.  I know what has worked  (and not worked) for us.

But I have alot of FAITH, TRUST, and CONFIDENCE in my kids, and like my wonderful mother had always told her girls….

“Sometimes a mother does not have to know EVERYTHING their kids are doing”

I went into parenting thinking I did need to know their EVERY SINGLE MOVE.

I am much smarter than that now, by taking my OWN mothers advise many years later.

God bless her.     SHE had all the right answers.  🙂